what my dog fears more than a moving car

• balloons
• paper bags
• the shadows cast by a floor lamp
• the oven timer
• tall men with long hair
• butterflies
• the sound of the coffee maker
• fireworks
• those wobbly inflatable men in used car lots
• people who stand up too quickly
• toddlers
• people who don't sit down quickly enough
• people who are naked
• that I won't make it back from the bathroom
• dust motes
• me without a hat